demons....like....whoa..

So I finally get a much needed day off after two months in Iraq. Was very nice, got to sleep in, go get a haircut, and watch a movie. Very relaxing, can only think of a couple things that would have made it better, both of whom are still back in the states, and most of what I was thinking about is prohibited by either general order 1 or by the Army sexual conduct regs. (Thank God they don't enforce those or I'ld be in jail for life, I mean come on, missionary only? Please.)

Speaking of, I've been accused to helping push Angel's mind into the gutter the last couple of days. Let's review shall we, who is send who pictures wearing what lately? (Again not that I'm complaining mind you, a few more suprises like that in the mail would be very appreciated.) All I did was make an innocent *cough* comment about a certain game of truth or dare. Its not as if I said given the chance I'ld strip you down, tie you to the bed, put me head between your legs and lick you until your eyes cross. I mean something like that would have been over the top. *gryn*

So in lacking more interesting things, I opted to watch Constantine again. Its probably one of my favorite movies at the moment, next to like Boondock Saints probably. The only twitch I keep having is that fact that they have Keanu as the lead character. Don't get me wrong, he did an amazing job, but he is one of those actors that, for the most part, is a type cast. He found one character early in his career and stuck with it. Sometimes this works out. The only problem is it seems he took his character from the "Bill and Ted" movies. Seriously take any movie he's ever been in, with any line he's ever had and add the words "dude, bogus, or man" at the end of it and he's back in "Bill and Ted." Kinda makes me want to see the outtakes for Constantine. "I'm John Theodore Constantine, dude. I mean asshole. Aw man I messed that on up again didn't I? Bummer." It either that or I keep thinking about the Sat. Night Live Celebrity Jeopardy skit. "I know Kung-Fu." "For the last time, No you don't"

Anyway folks, time for me to get back to work.

random quotes

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
J ack Nicholson

" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. J ust show me somebody naked'."
J erry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns

Who?! Hold on.....

Well, well, well, here we go again. Yet another blog and hopefully they won't block this one with the firewall. Its only like the third time they've done it to me. Ok basics, if you have this blog you already know who I am so deal with it. This is a journal so these are my thought and opinions. If you don't like anything I write, the phrase "sit on it and rotate" comes to mind. Anyway, there's probably going to be all kinds of crap posted in here, rants, raves, stories I've written/am writing, and generally anything I think looks cool.

Thank you drive through.